Oh Baby!!!

Baby Girl LaCrosse

Surprise!!! We are Expecting our FIRST Heaven-Sent-Blessing and we are OVER-THE-MOON ecstatic to finally say we are expecting a bundle of LOVE due to arrive in March 2019!!!

It has been a long time of praying and waiting but one thing is for certain; God’s timing is and will always be perfect.

Where do I begin to express my overwhelming joy, gratitude, and downright shock!  Perhaps to better explain our journey I will rewind the hands of time back to May 22, 2010, the wonderful day my husband Ryan and I were married.  Like most couples we wanted to enjoy a few months, even a year of our new chapter in life as newlyweds without starting a family right away.  Eventually though, when the time came to officially start to try for a baby, nothing happened.  One never thinks there would ever be an issue for something so natural?  I mean, most newlyweds don’t jump right into assuming they’re going to have problems having a baby…right?

Well, we were one of those couples where the months of trying turned into years.  I just chalked it up as this must be God’s plan. ‘Maybe we’re one of those couples that aren’t meant to have biological children?’  But after the years of anger and frustration, I found my peace and serenity of letting go and letting God especially over things I have no control.

Please don’t be fooled that I was always this logical and rational.  This way of thinking certainly did not happen overnight.  Rather it was after 4 years of being terribly disappointed that I eventually couldn’t take the pain of not being able to get pregnant and out of desperation, I started to change my way of thinking. This way of thinking just happened to coincide with Super Bowl Sunday 2015 after having our second failed IUI attempt.  An IUI, (Intrauterine Insemination) is a fertility treatment that involves placing the sperm inside a woman’s uterus to facilitate fertilization.  This procedure although harmless, is just as equally invasive.

I started praying and praying and praying. From that moment on, I felt an inner peace like nothing I had ever felt before and I  knew God heard me and if it was meant to happen according to His will, then it would happen.

Our infertility diagnosis fell into the “bucket of unexplained infertility.” Trust me, when I say,  I’m not sure what is harder to deal with; knowing what is wrong with you or not knowing what is wrong with you? This was a very scary and isolating place to be in for several years.  This diagnosis made my husband and me feel like the outcast toys sent to misfit island, except in our case, we were further cast offs placed onto yet ANOTHER island of malfunctioning toys that had something wrong with them, but no one could figure out what it was.

You watch family and friends continue to have children and it appears to be effortless for them to get pregnant. Or, you hear of  friends or coworkers talking about not being able to have their THIRD child!  Meanwhile I’m thinking to myself, ‘yeah, all we want is at least ONE child’!  With paralyzing thoughts of some major health problem or even cancer, I finally broke the cycle of worrying and put it ALL in God’s hands.

Unfortunately for me, the first year turned into more than 7 years. But as I quickly realized, we all have crosses to carry.   I started to notice something. Thanks to social media with many brave women sharing their stories, I realized there are many couples dealing with their own struggles. In this time where social media seems so fast paced and devoid of human interaction let alone of human emotion, there were people sharing their stories to help give hope to others. It was the first time I felt that this issue wasn’t just happening to us. Whether it’s others’ inability to get pregnant, stay pregnant, or to carry full-term, you know that many couples have suffered silently through this difficult emotional roller coaster. The one thing I did for myself was not to allow this issue to define me. Instead, I started to bloom where I was planted. I started doing the things that I wanted to do for myself and to do them now. I enjoyed the many trips my husband and I were able to take and really enjoyed visiting new places making our own memories. But most of all I allowed myself to LIVE.

I am here to share our news now from the other side of this devastating time in our life. Our baby girl is due to arrive in late March and we are not only HAPPY but very GRATEFUL.  God answered our prayers on His time, not ours. I am certainly not saying this will be the case for everyone going through this incredibly difficult journey, but if I am able to give the smallest glimmer of hope to any couples struggling, then I feel I have helped in a small way. During this magical time of the year that is filled with so many acknowledged blessings, blessings we are unaware of, and the many, many blessings to come, I would like to extend a heartfelt Merry Christmas to you all and a Happy and healthy New Year! Know you are NOT alone.

God Bless You All!



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